The Beatitudes.

Matthew 5

The Beatitudes

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

As I was reading this and trying to meditate on it, something really new about it hit me. Well, not new, but something I never noticed before, when trying to look at it at a whole. Allow me to try to share.

Let me start by saying that this passage has always somewhat confused me. If I'm blessed, does that mean I'm saved? Do I need to be poor in spirit for the kingdom of heaven to be mine? What do these particular words mean for me and my life? What if I'm some of these but not all of these? Is there a big difference between being a son of God and the kingdom of heaven being mine? Why does Jesus list these specific things, even qualifiers, for being blessed? Can I be blessed through other ways? What does it even mean to be blessed (in itself, beyond what the passage says, such as being sons of God, or being filled)? Is there a specific order to these?

Questions aside. In ways this is still a mystery to me. But here's what I got.

Notice that every "type" of person, or "trait" of sorts, is blessed. But they are blessed for different reasons (pure in heart, poor in spirit, meek, etc.) and with different things (the kingdom of heaven, inherit the earth, called sons of God, etc.). Though I'm not really sure, let's just say that being in any of these categories means we are "saved" as we would say. As the blessing of the kingdom of heaven being theirs is at the beginning and end of the beatitudes, I think it's safe to take that next step. I hope.

In particular, the order, and progression of the "qualifiers" (quotes, because I don't think qualifier is really the right word) got to me. It starts out with being poor in spirit; we realize and understand our depravity, how broken we are, how in need we are. We mourn, we are meek, and then we hunger and thirst for righteousness. And after we hunger and thirst for that, we can be merciful to others as God has shown mercy to us. Our hearts are made pure, we can make peace with ourselves, with God, and with others. Then... we are persecuted because of righteousness. Bam!

We go from God meeting our needs through our suffering (poor in spirit, mourning, meekness, hungry and thirsty) to God blessing us in our satisfaction (don't know the word to put. Obedience? Worship? showing mercy, making peace, etc.) to God giving us what we had originally while we are persecuted. Honestly, I'd rather stop at being poor and spirit and having the kingdom of heaven. Poor and spirit sounds better than being persecuted because of righteousness.

It's almost as if the beatitudes outline a life-long path of spiritual growth and development that we each go through. No matter what point we are on, ours is the kingdom of heaven. At each step God meets our needs and blesses us; when we mourn, He comforts, when we hunger and thirst, He fills us. And all for what? So that we can, and will be, persecuted, and again have the kingdom of heaven. Maybe with bigger rewards in heaven.

And... that's kind of where it ends. Those are my thoughts, and I don't know what to make of it beyond that. It says something about persecution in relation to our faith; do we need to be persecuted to be blessed? After all, Jesus says "blessed are you when ..." hhmmmmm. Again, I'm really hesitant to see this as a progression of sorts, but I know for sure that I am far from being righteousness. I'm pretty far from being considered a peacemaker or even being pure in heart, I would say. Maybe when I get there I'll be ready to take on persecution, insults, and false sayings of all kinds of evils.

(Post feels incomplete, but going to publish anyways. I suppose I'm writing this to buffer myself for errors or shortcomings... maybe one day I won't need to do this either.)

why so serious?

One thing I've been learning these past few months is that not everything has to be so serious. Well, "serious" as I understand it, at least.

I don't know what else to say. I was going to write a longer post about the topic but maybe there isn't a whole lot more to say. Just... learn to laugh and enjoy the simple things. Maybe things that aren't necessarily "holy" or "Christian-y" but are definitely meant to be enjoyed. Things like spending time with people and laughing with them, like eating and cooking and playing games.

Hopefully I will also have some lighter posts and just get into a habit of writing more. I think this is partially why it's hard for me to continue to write, because I think if it's not something serious or deep or profound it isn't worth it. Similarly how sometimes I feel like I need to have really deep/personal/spiritual conversations with people in order for the time we spend together to be well-spent. But I think this is wrong. Laughing with people is worth it.

Of course, as with everything, there is a line to be drawn and a healthy balance.

repetition

Again, I wrote out a long post and then decided to write differently. Because I realized that what I was writing about was really circling around one idea that might help me understand my situation better.

Repetition isn't a bad thing. Even if it's in writing, talking, listening, etc. I need to tell myself this and come to believe it, because I think for awhile I've acted like it's a bad thing. Like the previous post, to which steve commented that I've written before. Yea, I probably have, and honestly, it makes me a little sad that I've written it before.

It makes me sad because it makes me feel like I haven't had any "progress". Like I've been stuck in the same spot for awhile. But I think in different ways I haven't been stuck, and even if I am, I need to be okay with repeating some things. Maybe I didn't really learn the first time or it still needs to settle in.

While my repetition of things may be a sign that I still struggle with that particular sin or lesson or area of my life, I need to come to terms with having to repeat it. Yeah, so maybe I feel like certain parts of my life / faith go in circles (in particular, my writing and these posts,) but maybe it's because I haven't learned from them enough and it's about time that I do.

I also think that I might be worrying/thinking too much about growth itself, rather than writing / thinking as a means to a more intimate relationship with God and to glorify Him. But that's for another time. For now.

life was meant to live!

There are many things on my mind right now, and (I think) many ideas floating around my mind waiting to come out in words, waiting to be externally processed and reviewed. But in an effort to collect my thoughts and in preparation to write, I came to realize that some of these thoughts are not really relevant to me. That is, though they would end up being an expression of my views and opinions (and some convictions) they are not really something I am going through now, per say. (Not that this isn't a reason to write about them, but more because that was the original reason for my wanting to post).

But I am reminded that today must be lived, well, today. Life must be lived (to an extent) in the now. I think too often I let myself be held back by thoughts of doubts, by questions without answers or by the uncertainty of the future. Why should that keep me from living today? Not simply waking up and sleeping, breathing and eating, but I mean, living. Embracing life.

I won't lie, I've been thinking a lot about the future, but I don't know if that's really done me any good. It's pulled some attention from the things right in front of me. (Of course, I will admit that thought, planning and prayer ought to go into our choices for the future, but I think too much planning for the future might make it hard for us to be obedient to God.)

Though I don't know what lies and awaits ahead, I know what's right in front of me now, and I must do my best to faithfully serve and love. Regardless of where I'll be, I need to be at peace with where I am. I pray that I will learn to be fully and solely satisfied in the goodness and greatness of God, today, not tomorrow.