Worth.

I have a hard time taking correction. There's this constant struggle in my heart between what I know is right and what my sinful nature wants to do; to yell at someone for doing something I thought was inconsiderate as opposed to being patient with them, or my laziness overcoming any sort of diligence that I have.

It's also really easy for me to get caught up in my inabilities. Part of me feels very incapable of anything, while part of my feels more capable than anyone else. Like my pride is constantly battling my realization that I am a sinful man.

I'm trying to learn what it means to let God be enough for me. I know that He is everything that I could ever want or ever need, and more... and I know that things of this world will fade away, that what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. But I like things around here (sometimes). There is a very delicate (or a lot of tension) between the ideas that 1. Our lives are very valuable (because God values us), and 2. We are nothing (without God).

For some reason it's really easy for me to think that I am worthless. I think it's because for awhile I put my self-worth in people. I've been trying to break out of it, and I think that a good part of me has... but still, part of me hasn't. The struggle has changed from my friends to the people that I "serve". Or serve with.

No matter what I do, or any of us do, we can never make God love us any more or less than He does now. And that's pretty amazing. For some reason it's taking a long time to sink into my heart. To know that we are dearly loved by someone so much bigger than us should make us understand how greatly we are each valued. But for some reason, it's taking awhile to sink deep into my heart.

Better yet, if I am worth a lot to God, then all of us are. If God values them, even those people that I judge, then why shouldn't I? If God loves them, why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't we?