More often than not, it takes awhile for people to change. We gradually learn from experiences, take in words of advice from people... but it all takes time to process, to really settle in and set in our hearts.
But I think that when God really wants to, He changes us pretty quickly. Over the past few days He has completely refreshed me, and completely changed my perspective on life.
That said, I am worried that my convictions and the things God spoke to me will be forgotten in a few months. Or a year. Or maybe weeks. It's like that spiritual high that so often comes with retreats and conferences, and that so often fades away as we settle into our worldly lives that we were living before said spiritual high. So there's this fine line between our emotions being stirred by an encounter with God and our hearts being transformed by it.
And I don't want to forget. God made some major changes in my heart that I sincerely pray will continue throughout my entire life. (What all of these changes are might come in later posts, and they might not; a good amount was written in the previous though, I think. Or you can ask me.)
It seems that we so easily go back into the patterns and schedules that we're used to and comfortable with. I wish it wasn't so easy to settle; I don't want to settle.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
God is sovereign. Let's start living.
I don't think I can really grasp the sovereignty of God. At least, it's really hard to. And I think that most of us don't. It's one of those core, core things to Christianity that we often pass over, but if truly understood, would radically change our lives. My life.
God is sovereign over everything. He is in control. His judgment is sovereign and final; the grace and forgiveness that He gives us is absolute. His love is absolute, unchanging.
Over the conference this weekend (AMI Revolution) , Dr. Steve, a missionary in Kenya, gave two messages concerning God's sovereignty. He brought up the point that we tend to stop putting God in the picture when other people get involved. He used the analogy that if we're walking along a beach, and a coconut falls on our head, we are pretty likely to see that as an act of God. But if someone throws the coconut at us and it donks us on the head, it's just a random guy throwing a coconut as us.
It's also hard to understand God's sovereignty over the context of time. In the book of Esther, God spent her entire life, her entire upbringing; years and years, to prepare her and put her in the position to do great things for God. If I really believe in God's sovereignty, do I believe that He's been working behind the scenes for my entire life, for a time such as this? Or, that I am still being prepared to do great things for God?
Over the weekend, my faith has taken huge leaps in these two areas. And with this in mind, I think I'm ready to finally give over everything to God, piece by piece. Though I have been over the years, I think it's about to pick up. How can anybody not? God has constantly been working in our lives, whether we know it or not; He has been planning amazing things for us, but we are blind to it. We chose comfort over discomfort, take the easy, cookie-cutter way through life, rather than choosing to live radically for the biggest, most powerful, most loving, compassionate person we've ever met. How can we NOT respond by giving our entire lives?
I think a large reason that I became a Christian is because life is pointless without it. There is no purpose. We simply exist, live a life, meet some people, lose some friends, and then die. But you see, God has a plan for my life. I'm not meant to let the world pass me by, but I, we, are meant to live a life that is radically different from the rest of the world, we are meant to be part of God's infinitely large redemptive plan. He has given me a purpose; what specifically that is, I have yet to discover. I simply know that I will lead a life of worship. No matter what I do, it will be in worship to God.
God is sovereign. His plan will be done no matter what, with or without us. Do I want to be a footnote in God's salvation history, or do I want to be a main player? I hope to be a main player, but of course, I only could according to God's will. No matter what His plan to me, I want to be able to live life knowing that I did everything in my power to worship God, by loving Him and loving my neighbors.
(Of course, with all this in mind, there is a constant paradox and struggle to grasp God's sovereignty in relation to us having free will; though God has a master plan for everything, we are still able to make our own choices, to some extent.)
Let's go God. Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done...
God is sovereign over everything. He is in control. His judgment is sovereign and final; the grace and forgiveness that He gives us is absolute. His love is absolute, unchanging.
Over the conference this weekend (AMI Revolution) , Dr. Steve, a missionary in Kenya, gave two messages concerning God's sovereignty. He brought up the point that we tend to stop putting God in the picture when other people get involved. He used the analogy that if we're walking along a beach, and a coconut falls on our head, we are pretty likely to see that as an act of God. But if someone throws the coconut at us and it donks us on the head, it's just a random guy throwing a coconut as us.
It's also hard to understand God's sovereignty over the context of time. In the book of Esther, God spent her entire life, her entire upbringing; years and years, to prepare her and put her in the position to do great things for God. If I really believe in God's sovereignty, do I believe that He's been working behind the scenes for my entire life, for a time such as this? Or, that I am still being prepared to do great things for God?
Over the weekend, my faith has taken huge leaps in these two areas. And with this in mind, I think I'm ready to finally give over everything to God, piece by piece. Though I have been over the years, I think it's about to pick up. How can anybody not? God has constantly been working in our lives, whether we know it or not; He has been planning amazing things for us, but we are blind to it. We chose comfort over discomfort, take the easy, cookie-cutter way through life, rather than choosing to live radically for the biggest, most powerful, most loving, compassionate person we've ever met. How can we NOT respond by giving our entire lives?
I think a large reason that I became a Christian is because life is pointless without it. There is no purpose. We simply exist, live a life, meet some people, lose some friends, and then die. But you see, God has a plan for my life. I'm not meant to let the world pass me by, but I, we, are meant to live a life that is radically different from the rest of the world, we are meant to be part of God's infinitely large redemptive plan. He has given me a purpose; what specifically that is, I have yet to discover. I simply know that I will lead a life of worship. No matter what I do, it will be in worship to God.
God is sovereign. His plan will be done no matter what, with or without us. Do I want to be a footnote in God's salvation history, or do I want to be a main player? I hope to be a main player, but of course, I only could according to God's will. No matter what His plan to me, I want to be able to live life knowing that I did everything in my power to worship God, by loving Him and loving my neighbors.
(Of course, with all this in mind, there is a constant paradox and struggle to grasp God's sovereignty in relation to us having free will; though God has a master plan for everything, we are still able to make our own choices, to some extent.)
Let's go God. Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done...
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Release.
There's a lot that I hold on to. Most of the time I'm in denial about it though. Most of the time I'm pretty good at telling myself that I'm not holding on to things. Like school, for example. I can usually convince myself that I'm okay if I don't do well enough to deem myself as a "successful student". But when finals and such come along, all of that falls apart; I become anxious about my grades and how well I do compared to other people in my class.
I've recently realized that I need to let go of these things. God has revealed a lot to me at AMI Revolution, and I need to adjust my life accordingly. Check later posts for more. Many, many thoughts running through my head. This past weekend was an incredible blessing in so many ways.
I've recently realized that I need to let go of these things. God has revealed a lot to me at AMI Revolution, and I need to adjust my life accordingly. Check later posts for more. Many, many thoughts running through my head. This past weekend was an incredible blessing in so many ways.
Monday, June 23, 2008
In His hands.
There seems to be this constant paradigm between us lifting up things to God and being good stewards of what He has given us. While I know I need to let God take full control of my life, I also must be a good steward of the things that I have been entrusted with (what those things are is up for debate, though could arguably be a lot).
It seems as though God is trying to get at (as usual) the heart of things, of me. I need to be ready to lose everything or gain everything, but whatever happens, it has to be for His glory. Rather than thinking like, "I need to DO this because it is for God's glory," I should be thinking, "God has given me this for His glory." It's not my action or what I do that I should be focused on, but what God is already doing, and what God has done.
And it's exactly that. It's not what happens and what doesn't happen, it's where our hearts are. Where my heart is.
And I always seem to have this daunting self-doubt as to where my heart is. Because I know where it should be, and though I often think that it's there, I am so convinced of my sin that I find it hard to believe that it is where I think it is. (Wow, that sentence sounds confusing.) And maybe that's because I'm more convinced of my sin than God's grace. It's easier for me to believe how utterly I have failed than how overpowering God's love is.
My prayers, among many:
Psalm 139:23-24 - "Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 73:25-26 - "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Philippians 3:8 - "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"
Feeling like I have more to say but I'm not sure how. Oh well.
It seems as though God is trying to get at (as usual) the heart of things, of me. I need to be ready to lose everything or gain everything, but whatever happens, it has to be for His glory. Rather than thinking like, "I need to DO this because it is for God's glory," I should be thinking, "God has given me this for His glory." It's not my action or what I do that I should be focused on, but what God is already doing, and what God has done.
And it's exactly that. It's not what happens and what doesn't happen, it's where our hearts are. Where my heart is.
And I always seem to have this daunting self-doubt as to where my heart is. Because I know where it should be, and though I often think that it's there, I am so convinced of my sin that I find it hard to believe that it is where I think it is. (Wow, that sentence sounds confusing.) And maybe that's because I'm more convinced of my sin than God's grace. It's easier for me to believe how utterly I have failed than how overpowering God's love is.
My prayers, among many:
Psalm 139:23-24 - "Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 73:25-26 - "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Philippians 3:8 - "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"
Feeling like I have more to say but I'm not sure how. Oh well.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Losing myself, in bringing You praise...
My friend, who recently told me he's in "a rut", asked me to pray for one thing: that the lyrics of that song, "From the Inside Out", would become truth to him. That he would lose himself in order to bring glory to God; that as he went on missions, as he lived his life, he wouldn't look at himself, what he wanted, or what he thought was right, but would look to God first and foremost for everything.
Another friend made a xanga post sharing a similar struggle.
It is so, so easy to become caught up in ourselves. And I have a strong conviction that even when we think we're being selfless, we're actually being selfish. That more often than not, we are not actually being selfless; but we are being selfishly selfless. Putting others first because we think WE should be the ones serving them, or because we want to be the one receiving glory for helping others.
Similarly, I think it's very easy to be pridefully humble. "Oh, look at me! I'm so humble. That means I'm better than you." Even though I denied it, I think I often used to feel like this; that I was better than you, because I was selfless AND humble. What now! (kidding. well, that last part.)
To be honest, I think I see this in a lot of people. But it's hard to understand our true motives sometimes, since our thoughts and actions have (what seems to be) an infinite number of emotions behind who we are as human beings. Which is perfectly fine. But as with many things, I feel like we should be more aware of our faults and humble ourselves enough to admit these mistakes. It's easy for us to know what we're supposed to do and how we're supposed to think, but it's so easy to act that way simply because we are "supposed" to, not because it is out of a genuine love for God and his people. So let's take another look.
Tired. So that's all for now.
Another friend made a xanga post sharing a similar struggle.
It is so, so easy to become caught up in ourselves. And I have a strong conviction that even when we think we're being selfless, we're actually being selfish. That more often than not, we are not actually being selfless; but we are being selfishly selfless. Putting others first because we think WE should be the ones serving them, or because we want to be the one receiving glory for helping others.
Similarly, I think it's very easy to be pridefully humble. "Oh, look at me! I'm so humble. That means I'm better than you." Even though I denied it, I think I often used to feel like this; that I was better than you, because I was selfless AND humble. What now! (kidding. well, that last part.)
To be honest, I think I see this in a lot of people. But it's hard to understand our true motives sometimes, since our thoughts and actions have (what seems to be) an infinite number of emotions behind who we are as human beings. Which is perfectly fine. But as with many things, I feel like we should be more aware of our faults and humble ourselves enough to admit these mistakes. It's easy for us to know what we're supposed to do and how we're supposed to think, but it's so easy to act that way simply because we are "supposed" to, not because it is out of a genuine love for God and his people. So let's take another look.
Tired. So that's all for now.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)